I Miss My Friend..

Yesterday evening as I was getting ready to go out. I checked my facebook and found that I had a new message from my homie nate.. It read: "Charitie Died in a car crash going the wrong way on 494 at 1:45 a.m. you can look at the pioneer press article, 2 die in wrongway crash..."

The difference a day makes.. I was on a complete high two nights before.. Seeing one of my favorite groups out here in Paris, and just enjoying the life an extended vacation brings. Only to be thrown back into the sad reality of life hearing that a dear friend of mine had passed. Dear; not meaning I knew of her, or merely just an aquaintence. No, dear in the sense that I've known this amazing girl nearly my whole life. When she first moved on my block a decade ago I was taken aback at how beautiful she was. I knew she was a very special girl, and that we would be best of friends. I felt lucky that God had finally hooked me up with a hot neighbor. I remember vividly so many memories that me and her had. Running through the woods, making fun of each other, going to McDonalds, telling one another secrets, gossiping, listening to music in her roo,m and sneaking her into my house to watch t.v. and movies, because my mom didn't let me have girls over. My first kiss, our first kiss.. .. The scar above her lip and how I used to make fun of her because of it, then she would make fun of my large nose and my mom's African food always making my garage smell like fish.. I remember when she came to visit me at my college apartment last year and how much fun we all had, and how she wanted to experience the college life after that.. She just loved having fun. Always in a good mood. Always there for me. When I was at the lowest time of my life, and it felt like everyone had walked out on me.. I knew I could count on her.. I found strength in her daily phone calls and just hearing her high pitched voice..

I am sorry that I missed your birthday party Charitie.. I am glad and blessed that I had someone like you in my life, and as I write this I am fighting back tears from falling.. I went through the whole day without shedding a single tear. Call it shock, I don't know.. It all feels so surreal. Like If I flew home right now there's still a chance I could speak to you. As I write this, I am beginning to come to the realization that I am actually writing about your death! You, Charitie Dampier-Foss, only 20 years old! I turned my cell-phone on today to view the last text messages we sent the day before I left the country and cut off my service.. I told you that I was leaving and that we'd kick it this summer. And you said you were looking forward to it.. Than I said "I love you pal", and you replied, "I love you too bradley, be safe!!" Charitie you mean so much to me that I can't express in a stupid blog. You were truly a genuine person, and a special soul. I don't know about life after death or why these things happen, but first it was Derrick and now you. I get so scared thinking about life and how short it really is.. I see these elderly people on the streets and I am amazed at how they're still a live.. It's hard to deal out here away from my family and close friends.. I want to just cry until I can't anymore and be around the ones that know me best.. But I can't, and I know I shouldn't anyways.. The only way to move is forward, but it's so hard to when all I do is wish that I could go backwards.. Please know that I love you and cherish every single memory we had, all that you were, and everything that you accomplished..

I love and miss you sooooo much Charitie Dampier-Foss.. Rest in Peace!